Rantastic: The Situation with "The Situation" in Rehab

Now I know that the amount of people who seem to love MTV's take on an Animal Planet documentary Jersey Shore is only outmatched by the amount of people who either "ironically" like the show or talk about how much they hate it. It's overstated by this point, really. Yet I wouldn't dare get ahead of myself and act pretentious in condemning the "mainstream cool" idea to hate Snooki and the Gang. The show is pretty horrible, both in technical practice and it how it represents Italian Americans, New Jersey residents, American citizens as a whole, and really the entire human race to any extraterrestrials who might see it in transmission.  Basically everything to be said about this "show" has been said, numerous times, and in much cleverer ways than I can here.

Yet today I saw something, and I am about to do what I hold as a principle that I never (or rarely) do: attack someone personally.



Who is this person that deserves my unbridled hatred? Well, as I'm sure most of you have basic reasoning skills and read the headline, you already know, but to be completely open, it is Mike "The Situation" Sorrentino.

Today, releasing his public statement in the information surplus of Twitter, Sorrentino (as I refuse, flatly, to call him The Situation) announced the real reason that put to rest rumors why he was entering a rehab facility.

I have voluntarily taken steps to get control of a prescription medication problem I had due to exhaustion. I have spent the past several weeks getting treatment for this problem and recuperating from my work and appearance schedule. I appreciate my fans support and love you guys.

First off, he titled this "The Situation Wants to Set the Record Straight", as though he had to do this before the rumor mill got out of hand and started saying things like his "drinking was out of control" or "that he abuses certain substances", because that would be crazy talk, especially since there isn't documentation of this on video or something.

Then there's the obvious, in that he can basically go to hell. I mean, who does he think he is? He had a prescription medication problem because of exhaustion. Yes, because being paid and becoming a "celebrity"to live in a house, have sex, go to clubs, and be a general moron, is really exhausting work. Then he has the audacity to state that he is "recuperating from [his] work and appearance schedule". I mean .... what is there to say anymore?

More embarrassing is that CNN has this on it's front page in the entertainment section. Why, must I plead, can't the country just heave a collective "who gives a damn?" Yet, am I just furthering this? By writing about this, this gives it more publicity (as I'm sure this site's millions of readers are perusing this now) and only increases attention to it.

Then again, this is a ridiculous piece of human history, hyperbole intended.